It’s a slow news week. We just suffered through a national tragedy. The usually tame New York Fashion Week was this year, by all accounts, a total wasteland: front rows were empty, shows were cancelled and Mischa Barton was everywhere. Not good. As we write this, the shots from London are yet to start coming in (it’s London Fashion Week’s 25th Anniversary though, so it should be good). Apart from the showings, the only news we have is about the recession (which, hello-) and Heidi Klum (Wolfgang Joop called her fat, Karl Lagerfeld called her flashy, and both called her on not being “fashion”). That, and Jessica Simpson. Yes ladies and gents, we’re sad to say that Jessica Simpson’s weight gain could well be the biggest (haw haw) fashion story of the past few weeks. But it’s not Jess herself that we deem newsworthy; it’s the way people have responded to her new physique that’s shocked us. They’ve been using the dreaded “C” word to describe her – no, not that one – curvy.
Some time ago, it was decided that “plump” was no longer PC enough to use on women of an above average weight. Rubenesque and voluptuous both had too many syllables, and “full figured” seemed a little patronising, so gossip columnists settled on a new word to describe lard-os (apparently lard-o is demeaning to women, too). That word was curvy. The problem is, curvy already had a perfectly good definition. It meant women with, well, curves. Curves as in tits, waist, hips. Not curves as in rolls. Not only did curvy have a perfectly good definition; that definition was still in frequent use. The end result is a word about women’s bodies that is used to describe everything from Megan Fox’s 10 Cs and 22-inch waist to Beth Ditto’s 22-inch… leg- Which would also be fine, except that curvy has now become implicitly negative – so when you point out Selma Hayek’s killer curves, it no longer means “Dear god, how does she not snap in half with tata’s that big on a waist that insy--” it means “Selma Hayek is a fattie.” She isn’t. But some of the people labelled curvy are, and some don’t even have curves! Jennifer Hudson is genuinely curvy, she goes in as well as out. But Oprah- Not so much, her body is oval shaped at any weight. Kate Winslet is curvy, but she isn’t plump, while Britney Spears is buxom, but her waist to hip ratio doesn’t really warrant the use of dangerous curves signs.
We’re not sure about the rest of you, but it makes us die inside a little to hear someone like Gemma Arterton (someone who’s body is stunning) referred to as curvy, when it’s then used in the same breath to describe a recent, dramatic weight gain. Then there’s talk of losing your curves. You can’t. If you are really genuinely curvy, your hips will be significantly bigger than your waist no matter how thin you are. Indeed weight loss ramps up, rather than diminishes curves by shrinking your middle further.
As for Jessica Simpson: there is a perfectly reasonable, totally applicable word for her body. One that is non-offensive and 100% true. Jessica Simpson, at 5’3 and 134 pounds (according to Grazia), is ‘average.’ Her BMI is average, and her size is close to the national average. And that, my friends, is how the ball curves.
Thanks to the charming weather of late, our ten-dollar service station sunglasses just aren’t cutting it. They streak, they blind us, they fog up and when we get wet or sweaty, they fall off entirely (gross right-). So we decided to chat to someone who makes sunglasses that are built for sports and spills, but still retain plenty of style; Andrew Turner of Arnette.
Can you tell us about your forthcoming collection-
The recently released Arnette Notorious collection has a new style being released in May called Agent. It’s a wayfarer style in some unique colours ranging from yellow to bright orange to clear.
How do you pick themes for your collections-
Collections are based around themes we feel connect with people that wear Arnette - those with an interest in core action sports.
How much scope is there to play around and differentiate when designing sunglasses- Are there any unbreakable rules-
Obviously every individual’s face is slightly different so different shapes and sizes within a range are a necessity. It is however important to design something that is comfortable to wear which usually means keeping the lines simple and clean and differentiating with the use of colours and materials.
Sunglasses at night – are they appropriate and why/why not-
I would have to say no because whenever I have worn them out at night after being on it all day I generally don’t come home with them…
Who, in your opinion, is the most iconic sunglasses wearer of all time-
Can I be biased and say Snoop Dogg-
Trends in eyewear tend to change less often than in other areas of fashion, why do you think that is- Are there any eyewear trends that need to die-
I think there will always be trends that make a comeback even though they probably should die out!
Name three great works of art that could be improved with the addition of a pair of sunglasses…
Leonard da Vinci’s “Mona Lisa”, Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” and Pablo Picasso’s “The Weeping Woman.”
Sunnies on rockstars go together like butter on bread – who’s wearing your shades at the moment- Who would you like to see wearing them, and who needs to take them off-
Late last year we saw Snoop Dogg and Ice Cube rolling in a white Slammer and black Wrath and more recently lead singer of the Living End, Chris Cheney played at The Big Day Out in a pair of black Wrath.
What made you decide to get into eyewear – have you had design experience in any other area-
Growing up near a beach, I’ve always got a pair with me so getting into the business was a natural fit.
What sets Arnette apart from other eyewear brands-
Arnette eyewear has a solid heritage in the growth of core action sports. Greg Arnette started making eyewear out of his San Clemente garage some 17 years ago because he was passionate about action sports and saw a need to provide athletes in these sports with quality eyewear that did what they wanted it to do – just protect their eyes. It was not about the paychecks or podiums. It was all about living a gloriously irresponsible life and making it look like the only path worth pursuing.
You’ve just inherited one billion dollars from a distantly related oil tycoon, what do you do-
Invest half of it and the other half would definitely be spent on ensuring my mates and I could live a gloriously irresponsible life…
What: First Draft exhibition openings ‘Love to Love You Baby’, ‘Time Trap’, ‘Motlo Morte’
When: Wednesday 25 February from 6-8pm
Where: First Draft Gallery, 112 Chalmers St, Surry Hills
What: Dollies and Soldiers II
When: Wednesday 25 February from 7pm til late
Where: Level 1, 134 Oxford St, Darlinghurst
What: Alice McCall sample sale
When: Friday 6 March/Saturday 7 March from 10am-6pm
Where: Level 2, 25 Cooper St, Surry Hills