Swords, Fans & Flying Disc Assassins: Summer is here.

Before we knew it, it had begun. I'm not exactly sure of the crunch date, (x and counting) but I'd say at least 6 weeks ago, the terrain became treacherous. You know those tell tale conversations you find yourself in:

"What are you up to this weekend-"

"Um not sure, not much I don't think. I think it's a quiet one."

"Mmm, me too, I think. Oh no hang on, isn't [insert party A here] on this weekend-"

"Oh yeah, that's right. Oh and shit yeah [insert party B here] as well."

"Yeah on the same night. Oh yeah and then Saturday morning there's [insert party C]. That goes all day and then…oh fuck yeah, Saturday night's out of control [insert parties D, E, F & G here]…."

We'll leave generic conversation at this point as the point has been made. Were you finding yourself engaged in this sort of dialogue, way too far ahead of the silly season- Yes- Aha! Well that's the treacherous terrain I was referring to in stanza 1. Six weeks ago by my rough estimation it had already become ridiculous. I recall seeing the fear in colleagues eyes as such conversations unfolded.

The unspoken question was: "How the hell are we going to make it through Christmas and New Year if we're completely depleted before December crashes onto the shore. This airbus ain't taking off if it dies on the runway.

As disconcerting as this line of thinking may be; it can't be denied there is an accompanying sense of jubilation as the heat turns up. Don't matter how mad it gets, I'm packing my bags for the season ahead and riding the bus for all it's worth. I know you'll be joining me, for at least part of the ride, with sword, fan and disc in hand… What-

Exactly. What the hell was that last bit about- Well it's actually the purpose of this piece, so I'm glad I finally arrived at it.

The Flying Disc, the fan and the sword. Over the next six weeks I shall disseminate the hidden characteristics of each of these esteemed weapons. We'll look at how they've become removed from their original purpose and in some cases adopted by children and uncool people as chief items in apparently trivial pastimes. We shall look at their roles in the outdoor party environment and indeed the electronic music movement altogether. Finally we'll examine the relationship between each item and something else equally irrelevant and from this analysis reveal a deep-seated truism about a fundamental part of human evolution and it's intrinsic reliance on dance. Stay tuned... Tags

• Simon Slieker
• Monotremes
• Semi Retired